1. Born. 9/4/92
2. 2 yrs, Moved to Strongsville
3. 4 yrs, Kindergarten
4. 6 yrs, Dustpan Incident
5. 8 yrs, Moved
6. 8 yrs, Got a Dog
7. 10 yrs, Switched Schools
8. 12 yrs, Center Middle School
9. 12 yrs, Natalie born
10. 14 yrs, SHS
11. 15 yrs, Arcade Fire
12. 15 yrs, Coldstone
13. 15 yrs, Across the Universe
14. 16 yrs, Alive.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Strongsville Local Lore
"Heyyyy, let's go to Coldstone!" This phrase is often heard coming out of the mouths of people I know: The kids in my math class, my stand partner in orchestra, my little brother, my big brother, any family friends or guests we have, and just about everyone in between. I have worked at Coldstone Creamery in Strongsville for over a year now, and it has become a staple in my life. The employee discount I receive means that I go there more than just when I work. My friends and I go there to hang out, my family goes there to celebrate, and my co-workers and I often stop in just to visit. The CD player set up in the back means that I get my own choice of music-- coworker's approval pending, and the plethora of ice cream out front means I can eat whatever and whenever I want. The lenient rules mean that my coworkers and I have a lot of fun, and many great stories have come from crazy adventures at Coldstone (from gummy bear fights, to making cakes for our friends, to sneaking out back while on the clock, we've done it all). In the time that I have worked there, my coworkers have become my friends. I have seen them as they left high school and entered college, and enjoyed it when they return to visit. As I continue in my second year at Coldstone Creamery, I have learned many great skills for interacting with people. I love spending time at this place, and I take pride in the motto that I will be a Coldstoner Fo' Life!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Epitaph
The Body of Joan Nicole Moser
Violinist,
Like the old A and D
That need to be restrung
Quiet
No longer making music
Lies Here
Sound Buried in the Dirt
But the Music will Continue
For it will Ring
In the Hearts of Those Left Behind
With Perfect Pitch
Like Never Before
As the Musician Plays on from Above
Violinist,
Like the old A and D
That need to be restrung
Quiet
No longer making music
Lies Here
Sound Buried in the Dirt
But the Music will Continue
For it will Ring
In the Hearts of Those Left Behind
With Perfect Pitch
Like Never Before
As the Musician Plays on from Above
General Information: Holidays
1. Christmas: On December 25th, every single year. This holiday is used to commemorate the birth of baby Jesus, and for Christians, the birth of God in human form. On this day, family members and loved ones are to give each other gifts. This tradition was meant to encourage the value of family, but in a modern time is often commercialized to a point of high levels of stress regarding gifts.
2.Thanksgiving. On November , every single year. This holiday is to remember the giant feast that the Native Americans and European Pilgrims shared together as the Pilgrims began their lives in
3. The 4th of July- America’s Day of Independence. On this day, the
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
General Info: "Quote Unquote"
General Info: Quotes
One of the most useful skills to have in life is an ability to use words to describe emotions, ideals, and experiences. At times our own vocabularies seem to fall short, and then it can be even more effective to listen to the words of those before us. When I was eleven years old my big sister gave me a quote book. Ever since I have been filling it with words of wisdom that I felt were noteworthy. Here are some of my favorites.
"Cry when you cry; run when you run; love when you love. Represent the ashes that you leave behind."
-Matchbox 20
"The system gives you just enough to make you think that you see change. They will sing you right to sleep, and then they'll screw you just the same."
-Ani Difranco
"Even Kings can't rule the sky."
-Dr. Suess (Bartholomew and the Ooblek)
"Love has brought a great many people to safety when competence was exhasuted."
-Garrison Keillor
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
-Dr. Suess (The Lorax)
“I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged—their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty now that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”
-Shawshank Redemption
“I’ve been watching you for hours; its been years since we were born. We were perfect when we started, I’ve been wondering where we’ve gone.”
-Adam Duritz, Counting Crows
“Pretending to be someone you’re not is a waste of the person you are.”
-Kurt Cobain
“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves and then we have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”
-Snoopy
“There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.”
-Kurt Vonnegut, Sirens of Titan
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: it is only with the heart that you can see fully; what is essential is, in fact, invisible to the eye.”
-The Little Prince
“How does it feel? / to be on your own/ with no direction home/ like a rolling stone”
-Bob Dylan
“No one ever plans to sleep out in the gutter. Sometimes that’s just the most comfortable place.”
-Bright Eyes
“Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or Maybe life is. Crazy isn’t being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified.”
-Susanna (girl, interrupted)
“The most important things are hard to say because words diminish them.”
-Steven King
“I sing sometimes like my life is at stake
Because you’re only as loud as the noises you make
I’m learning to laugh as hard as I can listen
‘cause silence is violence in women and poor people.
If more people were screaming then I could relax,
But a good brain ain’t diddley if you don’t have the facts.
We live in a breakable, takeable world
An ever available possible world
And we can make music
Like we can make do
Genius is in a backbeat, backseat to nothing
If you’re dancing
Especially something something stupid like IQ
For every lie I unlearn, I learn something new.
And I sing sometimes for the war that I fight
‘cause every took is a weapon—
If you hold it right.”
-Ani Difranco
“That’s life. If nothing else, its life, and sometimes it fucking hurts; but it’s sort of all we have.”
-
“I can’t believe that we would lie in our graves, dreaming of something we might have been.”
-DMB
“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.”
-Bob Dylan
“I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. Sinners are much more fun.”
-Billy Joel
“Everyone needs a hero,
An image to create
An anti-thesis to everything inside us that we hate.
But you better close your eyes when it’s time for them to die
‘Cause you’d hate to think the life you built upon them was a lie.”
-Indigo Girls
“So which side wins?
Love wins. Love always wins.”
-Mitch Albom (Tuesdays with Morrie)
“I do not have diplomatic immunity…”
-Bart Simpson
“When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen to you… either there will be something solid for you to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.”
-Patrick Overton
General Info: Food for Comfort
"One of those days". Everyone you know has had them. In fact, you may have experienced them yourself. You woke up late for work, arrived looking and feeling frazzled, and rushed to a meeting-- only to get yelled at by your boss. Or maybe you're a student, who rushed all morning to finish that homework you promised yourself you'd wake up early to do (five more minutes seemed more important at the time), only to forget about the math quiz you needed to study for. Maybe your girlfriend left you for your best friend. Maybe you got in a fight with your roommate. Maybe you just have a case of the Monday blues. Regardless of the cause, everyone has days so painful they can only feel better if they eat some Comfort Food. Here are five delicious recipes for food that goes best with a little self-pity and a few tears. So hold on a little longer-- make yourself some quality food-- and then relax, mope, and eat.
1. Chooey-Gooey Bars
Ingredients:
- 20 oz. pkg. refrigerated chocolate chip or white chocolate chunk cookie dough
- 2 cups miniature marshmallows
- 12 oz. pkg. semisweet chocolate chips
- 1 cup caramel fudge ice cream topping
Preparation:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Slice cookie dough into 1/2" slices and arrange in greased 15x10" pan. Press evenly into pan using floured fingers so dough covers bottom of pan. Bake crust at 350 degrees for 10-13 minutes until light golden brown. Sprinkle crust with marshmallows and chocolate chips. Return to oven and bake an additional 8-10 minutes or until marshmallows are puffy and light golden brown. Remove from oven and drizzle caramel topping evenly over bars. Cool completely and cut into bars. 32 bars2. Mac and Cheese
Ingredients:
- 2 cups penne or medium shell pasta
- 16 ounce jar four cheese Alfredo sauce
- 1 cup frozen baby peas
- 1 cup soft whole wheat bread crumbs
- 2 tablespoons melted butter
Preparation:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 1-1/2 quart glass casserole with cooking spray and set aside.In large pot, cook pasta according to package directions until al dente, drain and return to pot. Add alfredo sauce and peas to drained pasta and cook over low heat, stirring frequently, until mixture is combined, about 3-5 minutes.
Place in prepared dish and top with a mixture of soft bread crumbs and melted butter. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes or until casserole is bubbling and bread crumbs are browned. Serves 4-63. Grilled Cheese
Ingredients:
- 4 slices whole wheat bread
- 2 Tbsp. butter
- 1 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
- 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
- 1/2 cup shredded Havarti cheese
- 1 tomato, thinly sliced
Preparation:
Spread one side of each bread slice with softened butter. Spread other side of bread slices with dijon mustard. Divide cheeses evenly on mustard side of two bread slices. Cover with tomato slices and top with remaining bread slices, mustard side down. Prepare and preheat two sided grill. Grill sandwiches for 2-3 minutes, until bread is golden brown and cheese is melted. 2 sandwiches4. Minute Apple Tart
Ingredients:
- 1 sheet frozen puff pastry, thawed
- 2 Granny Smith apples or two peaches, peeled, cored and sliced paper thin
- 1/2 cup apricot jam or preserves
- 1/4 cup brown sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Preparation:
Roll pastry onto a well floured surface and cut into twelve 3" squares. Prick the pastry with a fork and coat each with a spoonful of apricot jam. Fan the apple slices over the jam, arranged nicely. In small bowl, combine brown sugar and cinnamon and mix well. Sprinkle over apple (or peach) slices. Put the tarts on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes, until the apple slices are crisp-tender and the pastry is golden brown. Try serving these hot, with vanilla ice cream!5. Scrambled Eggs Benedict
Ingredients:
- 4 English muffins, split, buttered, and toasted
- 10 eggs, beaten
- 1/4 cup water
- Salt and pepper to taste
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 1 (8 ounce) jar four cheese Alfredo sauce
- 8 thin slices Canadian bacon or ham
Preparation:
Split, butter, and toast the English muffins and set aside. Preheat broiler. In large bowl, beat eggs with water, salt, and pepper. Melt butter in large saucepan over medium heat. Add eggs; cook and stir until eggs are set but still fluffy and moist. Stir in 1/2 cup of the Alfredo sauce and remove from heat. Place a spoonful of Alfredo sauce on top of each English muffin and top with Canadian bacon. Divide eggs among muffins and top each with some Alfredo sauce. Place on broiler pan. Broil, 6" from heat source, for 2-3 minutes until heated. Serve immediately.Monday, November 3, 2008
Slang Dictionary
Urban Dictionary contributes the following slang words that would be useful for anyone to know:
1. Brah:
This is the slang term for "bro" which is slang for brother. This term is slang inside a slang. It is the pigeon (English-Hawaiian slang) word that is used state wide in Hawaii not only by surfers but by all people born and raised in Hawaii of all racial groups.
ex. What's up brah?!
2. Golddigger:
Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man's bank account than she does about the man. The closest male equivalent is a gigolo or boytoy.
ex. She isn't into you, she's just a golddigger!
3.Tool
A person, typically male, who says or does things that cause you to give them a 'what-are-you-even-doing-here' look. The 'what-are-you-even-doing-here' look is classified by a glare in the tool's direction and is usually accompanied by muttering of how big of a tool they are. The tool is usually someone who is unwelcome but no one has the balls to tell them to get lost. The tool is alwasys making comments that are out-of-place, out-of-line or just plain stupid. The tool is always trying too hard to fit in, and because of this, never will. However, the tool is useful because you can use them for things; money, rides, ect.
ex. Shut up, man, you are such a tool!
4. Salty
A word originating in Philadelphia generally meaning that you just got played, or are looking stupid, either because of something you did, or something that was done to you. Emotional symptoms include anger, irritability, and grumpiness. (see Sandy Zhang).
ex. I forgot about her birthday party so now she's all salty.
5.Pwned
A corruption of the word "Owned." This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled "owned." When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned." Instead, it said, so-and-so "has been pwned."
ex. Ahw, man, you just got PWNED!
6. Facebook
An online network open to college students at certain universities. Students make up their own profiles which include a picture, name, birthdate, interests, and classes. They can then search for other students at their university or another university that has the facebook. One can add people they know or random people as their "friends." Good for: 1.) Procrastinating 2.) Stalking
ex. Person 1: Wow, that party on Friday was crazy!
Person 2: I missed it!
Person 1: That's alright, just Facebook it!
7. Creeper
A person who does weird things, like stares at you while you sleep, or looks at you for hours through a window. usually a close friend or relative. you know right away if that person is a creeper or does creeper things. it is not hard to spot the creeper.
ex. Yeah, he visits my facebook page like every day! What a creeper!
8. Myspace Whore
Usually a female on MySpace who goes nights without sleep just so she can post comments, bulletins, and pictures. She will often skip homework so she can be on MySpace, and naturally gets on it once she's at school. She'll generally have over 1000 friends because she'll be posting really slutty pictures of herself and pictures where you can't see her face. Generally has the same taste in music as everyone else on MySpace and is constantly threatening to delete her MySpace account because she's begging for attention.
ex. God, I wish Anna would stop posting bulletins about her new pictures... she's such a myspace whore.
9.Overshare
When too much information is given about any one (usually personal) subject matter.
ex. Person 1: I would've come, but I have had the worst case of the runs since like--
Person 2: STOP! STOP! Oh my god, OVERSHARE!
10. No homo
Phrase used after one inadvertently says something that sounds gay. "The fact that i've never, as long as you've known me, been a homosexual might escape you, so in case I say something that can be remotely mistaken for homosexual in nature, I'd like to reassure you that I'm not trying to seduce you."
ex. You're a great friend... no homo.
11. Queen
A flamboyant homosexual, usually male, always FABULOUS.
ex. Did you see his outfit tonight? He is such a queen.
12. Fierce
A word used by two fashion divas, Tyra Banks and Christian Siriano. It is used to describe someone or something that stands out from the crowd for all the right reasons. It gets noticed.
ex. Christian Siriano's outfit designs are always totally FIERCE.
13. Dbag
A general term that stems from a shortening of or douchebag; can be used in many ways: A)Can sometimes be used as a playful insult among friends, especially if one of them has done something stupid or absentminded; B)Can be used as a semi-serious insult, as when person A has actually been offended by a comment or action done by person B, but person A does not wish to get into fight; he merely wants to express his annoyance.
ex. Person 1: Oh, I totally forgot to do that english paper!
Person 2: You dbag! You do your english homework?!
14. Sloppy
Sloppy is the 2nd term in " The Crew's Definition of Drunk Levels." In this case, the person is usually walking around, mayyybe slurring a couple words together, but it still comes out classy. Always Stay Classy. They may end up going around talking to older Boys, and or younger Girls, and become BBF's with them for that One Night. Sloppy people are sloppy. If you are around them, you will probably have a drink spilt on you sometime that night. But don't worry, they'll help you clean it up, with a giannnt smile on their face, which they can't help, because they are having a riot.
Ex. She was so straight-edge in high school, but now she's sloppy all the time!
15. That's what she said!
Said during a conversation with someone that unintentionally says a comment that could be taken into sexual context. Referring to what a female might have said during the "act", but actually has nothing to do with sex in any way. Usually unnecessary.
ex. Dlackey: If anyone walks in, hide behind the door.
Kyle: That's what she said!
Joanie: You're such a tool.
1. Brah:
This is the slang term for "bro" which is slang for brother. This term is slang inside a slang. It is the pigeon (English-Hawaiian slang) word that is used state wide in Hawaii not only by surfers but by all people born and raised in Hawaii of all racial groups.
ex. What's up brah?!
2. Golddigger:
Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man's bank account than she does about the man. The closest male equivalent is a gigolo or boytoy.
ex. She isn't into you, she's just a golddigger!
3.Tool
A person, typically male, who says or does things that cause you to give them a 'what-are-you-even-doing-here' look. The 'what-are-you-even-doing-here' look is classified by a glare in the tool's direction and is usually accompanied by muttering of how big of a tool they are. The tool is usually someone who is unwelcome but no one has the balls to tell them to get lost. The tool is alwasys making comments that are out-of-place, out-of-line or just plain stupid. The tool is always trying too hard to fit in, and because of this, never will. However, the tool is useful because you can use them for things; money, rides, ect.
ex. Shut up, man, you are such a tool!
4. Salty
A word originating in Philadelphia generally meaning that you just got played, or are looking stupid, either because of something you did, or something that was done to you. Emotional symptoms include anger, irritability, and grumpiness. (see Sandy Zhang).
ex. I forgot about her birthday party so now she's all salty.
5.Pwned
A corruption of the word "Owned." This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled "owned." When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned." Instead, it said, so-and-so "has been pwned."
ex. Ahw, man, you just got PWNED!
6. Facebook
An online network open to college students at certain universities. Students make up their own profiles which include a picture, name, birthdate, interests, and classes. They can then search for other students at their university or another university that has the facebook. One can add people they know or random people as their "friends." Good for: 1.) Procrastinating 2.) Stalking
ex. Person 1: Wow, that party on Friday was crazy!
Person 2: I missed it!
Person 1: That's alright, just Facebook it!
7. Creeper
A person who does weird things, like stares at you while you sleep, or looks at you for hours through a window. usually a close friend or relative. you know right away if that person is a creeper or does creeper things. it is not hard to spot the creeper.
ex. Yeah, he visits my facebook page like every day! What a creeper!
8. Myspace Whore
Usually a female on MySpace who goes nights without sleep just so she can post comments, bulletins, and pictures. She will often skip homework so she can be on MySpace, and naturally gets on it once she's at school. She'll generally have over 1000 friends because she'll be posting really slutty pictures of herself and pictures where you can't see her face. Generally has the same taste in music as everyone else on MySpace and is constantly threatening to delete her MySpace account because she's begging for attention.
ex. God, I wish Anna would stop posting bulletins about her new pictures... she's such a myspace whore.
9.Overshare
When too much information is given about any one (usually personal) subject matter.
ex. Person 1: I would've come, but I have had the worst case of the runs since like--
Person 2: STOP! STOP! Oh my god, OVERSHARE!
10. No homo
Phrase used after one inadvertently says something that sounds gay. "The fact that i've never, as long as you've known me, been a homosexual might escape you, so in case I say something that can be remotely mistaken for homosexual in nature, I'd like to reassure you that I'm not trying to seduce you."
ex. You're a great friend... no homo.
11. Queen
A flamboyant homosexual, usually male, always FABULOUS.
ex. Did you see his outfit tonight? He is such a queen.
12. Fierce
A word used by two fashion divas, Tyra Banks and Christian Siriano. It is used to describe someone or something that stands out from the crowd for all the right reasons. It gets noticed.
ex. Christian Siriano's outfit designs are always totally FIERCE.
13. Dbag
A general term that stems from a shortening of or douchebag; can be used in many ways: A)Can sometimes be used as a playful insult among friends, especially if one of them has done something stupid or absentminded; B)Can be used as a semi-serious insult, as when person A has actually been offended by a comment or action done by person B, but person A does not wish to get into fight; he merely wants to express his annoyance.
ex. Person 1: Oh, I totally forgot to do that english paper!
Person 2: You dbag! You do your english homework?!
14. Sloppy
Sloppy is the 2nd term in " The Crew's Definition of Drunk Levels." In this case, the person is usually walking around, mayyybe slurring a couple words together, but it still comes out classy. Always Stay Classy. They may end up going around talking to older Boys, and or younger Girls, and become BBF's with them for that One Night. Sloppy people are sloppy. If you are around them, you will probably have a drink spilt on you sometime that night. But don't worry, they'll help you clean it up, with a giannnt smile on their face, which they can't help, because they are having a riot.
Ex. She was so straight-edge in high school, but now she's sloppy all the time!
15. That's what she said!
Said during a conversation with someone that unintentionally says a comment that could be taken into sexual context. Referring to what a female might have said during the "act", but actually has nothing to do with sex in any way. Usually unnecessary.
ex. Dlackey: If anyone walks in, hide behind the door.
Kyle: That's what she said!
Joanie: You're such a tool.
Where I'm From
Where I’m From
I am from the fireplace,
From Kindle Magic and fire
I am from the thumb-tacks found all over my home
(Sharp, colorful, hanging to-do lists as a constant reminder of our busy lives)
I am from the summer dandelions,
The sunflowers whose seeds we ate
Long after the flower had gone
I’m from mad, sad, and glad extroverts,
From Greg “Dobie” Moser and Paul Farmer.
I’m from the outspoken ones
And the rebellious advocates for change,
From use words and listen up.
I’m from Holy Days of Obligation
And the Prayer of St. Anthony when something goes missing.
I’m from a run down area in Columbus and idealistic suburbia,
From home-made mashed potatoes and my dad’s favorite Oreo milkshake.
From the jets in the waterslide that broke my brother’s finger
And the Christmas miracle that is my baby sister
Filling the cabinets of the walk in closet bedroom of my sister,
Images of seven children as they grow from their ideals to meet the real world
I am from the stories behind these portraits
Carefully crafted with family experiences that taught me with each small moment
Enough wisdom, love, and laughter to last a lifetime.
I am from the fireplace,
From Kindle Magic and fire
I am from the thumb-tacks found all over my home
(Sharp, colorful, hanging to-do lists as a constant reminder of our busy lives)
I am from the summer dandelions,
The sunflowers whose seeds we ate
Long after the flower had gone
I’m from mad, sad, and glad extroverts,
From Greg “Dobie” Moser and Paul Farmer.
I’m from the outspoken ones
And the rebellious advocates for change,
From use words and listen up.
I’m from Holy Days of Obligation
And the Prayer of St. Anthony when something goes missing.
I’m from a run down area in Columbus and idealistic suburbia,
From home-made mashed potatoes and my dad’s favorite Oreo milkshake.
From the jets in the waterslide that broke my brother’s finger
And the Christmas miracle that is my baby sister
Filling the cabinets of the walk in closet bedroom of my sister,
Images of seven children as they grow from their ideals to meet the real world
I am from the stories behind these portraits
Carefully crafted with family experiences that taught me with each small moment
Enough wisdom, love, and laughter to last a lifetime.
My Epiphany
Becoming a Quitter: Giving Up, Not Giving In
I should’ve been in school, since it was a Thursday morning, but instead I sat on a charter bus headed towards Columbus, Ohio with a phone in my hands and tears in my eyes. I listened, helpless and afraid, as my best friend shared with me the horrifying images his bad trip had induced. I had no control over the situation—he was nearly two hours away, and I could not un-make his decision to take the drugs. Still, I felt completely responsible.
I grew up in a large, extroverted family that wouldn’t take no for an answer. My mother and father instilled in us from a very young age the value of helping other people. This may have been in part so that we would take care of each other, but it was definitely incorporated in more ways than doing the dishes. For instance, when I was eleven years old, my family took in another family of ten refugees fresh off a plane from Somalia. This experience taught me to look for the best in other people, that hope is one of the most imperative beliefs you can have, and, most importantly, that anyone can make it if they try hard enough.
I did my best to hold strong to these values, but with my friend, it was all I could do to not give up. I spent almost all my time with him or keeping him in check, but it never seemed to cut it. He continued to get himself into trouble: with grades, with drugs, with all sorts of decisions. I kept telling myself that maybe if I had been there for one more phone call when he needed to talk, that maybe if I had helped him with his math homework one more time, that maybe if I had just been a better friend, he would have changed, he could have gotten better. Even after everyone around me recognized that I could not control the situation, I would not let go; and, after all, what time is a good time to give up hope on someone you love?
Later that Thursday, my friend called me again. I fought with him, desperately trying to convince him that I was right: that it was never too late, that he could still make the changes he needed to succeed in his life; but I think I knew that I was fighting a losing battle. “This is how I’m happy,” he told me, “and I would rather do this and die young than waste the rest of my life doing what society wants from me.” I was so upset I could hardly argue with him. I felt defeated and frustrated. I had already invested so much time in helping this person, and for him to selfishly turn away? My family taught values of generosity, love, and compassion had not prepared me for such a response.
It was briefly after this conversation with my friend that I realized an inevitable life lesson: I cannot save everyone. Not everyone I want to help will want to be helped. There is nothing I can do for someone until they are willing to change, too. This was the truth, and it broke my heart to acknowledge that my best friend might not reach the potential I had seen in him. Knowing this, though, I still try to help everyone I can. Sometimes, people have to hit rock bottom before they are willing to change; and if that’s what it takes, then I will wait, and I will be there to help them on their way up. “Let the rain fall down, and wash this world away/ Oh, let the sky be grey/ ‘Cause if it’s ever going to get any better, it’s got to get worse for a day” (Allen).
Works Cited
Bishop Allen. Rain. The Broken String. 2007.
I should’ve been in school, since it was a Thursday morning, but instead I sat on a charter bus headed towards Columbus, Ohio with a phone in my hands and tears in my eyes. I listened, helpless and afraid, as my best friend shared with me the horrifying images his bad trip had induced. I had no control over the situation—he was nearly two hours away, and I could not un-make his decision to take the drugs. Still, I felt completely responsible.
I grew up in a large, extroverted family that wouldn’t take no for an answer. My mother and father instilled in us from a very young age the value of helping other people. This may have been in part so that we would take care of each other, but it was definitely incorporated in more ways than doing the dishes. For instance, when I was eleven years old, my family took in another family of ten refugees fresh off a plane from Somalia. This experience taught me to look for the best in other people, that hope is one of the most imperative beliefs you can have, and, most importantly, that anyone can make it if they try hard enough.
I did my best to hold strong to these values, but with my friend, it was all I could do to not give up. I spent almost all my time with him or keeping him in check, but it never seemed to cut it. He continued to get himself into trouble: with grades, with drugs, with all sorts of decisions. I kept telling myself that maybe if I had been there for one more phone call when he needed to talk, that maybe if I had helped him with his math homework one more time, that maybe if I had just been a better friend, he would have changed, he could have gotten better. Even after everyone around me recognized that I could not control the situation, I would not let go; and, after all, what time is a good time to give up hope on someone you love?
Later that Thursday, my friend called me again. I fought with him, desperately trying to convince him that I was right: that it was never too late, that he could still make the changes he needed to succeed in his life; but I think I knew that I was fighting a losing battle. “This is how I’m happy,” he told me, “and I would rather do this and die young than waste the rest of my life doing what society wants from me.” I was so upset I could hardly argue with him. I felt defeated and frustrated. I had already invested so much time in helping this person, and for him to selfishly turn away? My family taught values of generosity, love, and compassion had not prepared me for such a response.
It was briefly after this conversation with my friend that I realized an inevitable life lesson: I cannot save everyone. Not everyone I want to help will want to be helped. There is nothing I can do for someone until they are willing to change, too. This was the truth, and it broke my heart to acknowledge that my best friend might not reach the potential I had seen in him. Knowing this, though, I still try to help everyone I can. Sometimes, people have to hit rock bottom before they are willing to change; and if that’s what it takes, then I will wait, and I will be there to help them on their way up. “Let the rain fall down, and wash this world away/ Oh, let the sky be grey/ ‘Cause if it’s ever going to get any better, it’s got to get worse for a day” (Allen).
Works Cited
Bishop Allen. Rain. The Broken String. 2007.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)